A Hidden Community
We are living amongst a secret society, mental Health does not discriminate, and we are surrounded by neighbours and loved ones isolated from one another, deprived of all the benefits being part of a community bestowal upon us. A lonely and insular existence of shame and inequality can be gently transformed to one of compassion and self-acceptance when we find the courage and generosity of gifting others with our stories and revealing our vulnerabilities. There will eventually be an end to the stigmatisation of Mental Health Issues when brave suffers step forward enabling transparency and the growth of a beautiful Community where judgement does not exist, only support and compassion.
Katy
‘I used to think I had to be strong all the time, but I don’t feel like that anymore.... I’ve had my heart broken It’s awful I feel like I just can’t let anyone in...... and I can’t do it again because you feel like you’re going to die. I’ve seen me on bad days, mid-workout, bursting into tears, crying in the middle of the workout, with Cross Fit I feel like I just found my home. Picking up a barbell has made me mentally and physically strong’.
Fiona
‘You know that time I said I was busy? I wasn’t actually, I was just at home, but I couldn’t come out. I started having menopause symptoms, my emotions went completely off the scale. You are in a vicious circle and there appears to be no way out. You’re not sleeping, you lose confidence, you have brain fog, you can’t remember what you’re meant to be doing and you just get lower and lower, then sometimes you think it would be easier if you weren’t here’.
John
‘I was bullied in school, I was lanky and smart, liked reading and got
picked on for that. Then In Covid I was depressed because swimming was my outlet and the pool closed. Swimming is the only thing I want to do; I train seven times a week and I am in the gym three or four times a week. I was feeling good then after starting Uni My granny died and I kept feeling like I was in this hole, no matter how hard I tried to scramble out, I just kept sinking further and further.
Jim
‘Whilst serving in the Airborne Forces I sustained a near fatal accident when my parachute failed to open, I had to learn to walk again and now wear a leg brace. I was able to return to duty and suffered from PTSD, survivors’ guilt after seeing friends die in Iraq that should not even have been there. I was behaving like I had a death wish, I needed adrenaline, going out looking for violence. Then the charities Combat Stress and Help for Heroes turned my life around, I was with men who all had the same dark sense of humour you only get within the Armed Forces. I then set up the charity Wounded Highlanders where we compete in highland games, have gone on to win world records and I have found something that not only helps others, but I can now channel all my energy into something with a positive outcome’.
Heather
‘The depression comes in waves, I feel so fragile, any confrontation totally screws me up, to the point where I feel sick. Just one person, that’s all it takes. At home I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I do something perfectly which leads to procrastination and anxiety. Other days I just want to hide, because I must paint on a smile, its exhausting. With the sewing there's just a feeling of calm, peace, no harassment, no huge expectations. There’s a sense of achievement and helping others, it’s good for my self-esteem and confidence. To sit with other women just chatting and sewing, to be part of something’.
Seona
‘I had a sort of nervous breakdown; I have always had a stressful life even growing up but I have always coped. I didn't understand why all of a sudden I fell to bits. I was suicidal. The medics said that because I'm so resilient, normally, when you fall to bits, you really fall to bits. I was having this horrible feeling of despair and distress and I just wanted it to stop and I thought if I just drove into that oncoming traffic, if I picked a big enough vehicle, that would finish me off. The only thing that stopped me was not being here for the kids, so I just took my sedation, and I went inside and laid on the bed and cried for hours’.
JJ
‘I started having mental health issues two years ago when I was fifteen. I had a lot going on and the doctor referred me to CAMHS. I go out on my Enduro bike around the fields 3-4 times a week and compete in competitions during the summer season. Riding the bike to its limit gives me a rush of fear, adrenaline, relief and a feeling of complete freedom.
Pushing beyond my comfort zone improves me as a rider but also gives me self-confidence. If I had to sell my bike tomorrow, I would be absolutely devastated’.
Sarah
‘The crisis comes when I suffer burnout. To have an ADHD diagnosis would validate my whole being, It would answer all the questions I’ve had my whole life, I would stop constantly doubting myself and beating myself up. It would give me the ability to manage my situation because I would
know what I am dealing with and be less of a drain on the NHS. The constant conversations and thoughts in my head go quiet when I am at the beach. The wind is in your face, you have to breathe, the breeze and sound of the sea eases my anxiety and quietens my thoughts’.